Lori Clarke and I share our strategies for shifting any obstacles around the need to have quiet work time when you work from home. We discuss how to get your kids and/or your partner, or spouse, aligned to support you in carving out a space for that necessary work time.

If you need more tips on this, check out this audio on “How Do I Find the Time To Work?”

And now it’s time to assess your own situation – grab a pen and paper!

After listening to the Audio from Jini and watching the video with Jini and Lori in this module, what are some things you need to change in your home, your lifestyle, or your energetic/emotional state to create more time and space for the things you want and need to be doing – to create FREEDOM in your life?

NOTE: If your loved ones are actively resistant or angry about your business, there’s even more help under “How Do I Work On My Business When Loved Ones Don’t Support My Business?” for the video and examples given there; which should give you a strategy for what’s needed in your situation.

Are you concerned about the expectations or pressures that might arise when you ‘up your game’ or go to the next level?

Lori Clarke walks me through one of my fears of being pressured into public speaking in this 20-minute video. Watch how I decide to set my boundaries and re-frame these pressures into manageable, positive experiences:

You can also download just the audio from this video if you prefer to listen to it in your car, or on the go. However, know that the few places there are slides will occur as gaps in the audio – so just wait and the speaking will resume.

DOWNLOAD Audio only (right-click and Save as…)

The really cool thing is that two months after this process, I was booked for 2 speaking engagements, with a professional videographer (so I could have the digital content), within a two-hour journey or less, and all completely paid for by sponsors – YES! I also was offered the option to speak every month for the next year, with the same conditions applied.

I did not have to go looking for this, or do anything to make it happen. I just needed to clear my blocks (see the video!) and get clear on what I wanted. The sponsors approached me and took care of all the logistics. I just had to show up and deliver the talk of my choosing. Ahhhh, I love the magic of life when we clear our crap and get out of our own way! Now let’s take a look at your blocks. Grab your pen and paper…

What things or elements in your life are you feeling pressured by? Or, where are you being called to expand your reach, open to possibilities, or step out – but yet you feel resistance or strong emotion against going there?

Now take each of these pressures or heavy-feeling prospects and re-frame them. Re-position them in a way that makes you feel light and makes them feel do-able. You can switch to a new perspective, just like I did in the video, so claim your power to do so and write down your requirements, boundaries or stipulations needed to shift that perspective to something that feels light and open:

I want to talk about a common barrier that people face when they begin to put their soul, passion, or special skill out into the world in a bigger or brighter way. This is an issue that’s sure to crop up as you take your business to the next level, or start a significant new project; like writing that book you’ve always been scared to write, or recording that audio that means so much to you, or shooting that video that takes you to a new level of authenticity, or however else you choose to share your light, journey, or expertise with the world.

I’m talking about the resistance that can come up from your partner, friends, girlfriend, boyfriend, parents, spouse, etc. There can be many reasons behind this resistance: like fear of losing you, fear of you becoming more successful than they are, fear of you risking and losing (getting hurt), fear of their life changing as a result of your success, or fear of you or them being ridiculed, the list goes on.

Whatever causes this resistance, or lack of support, the big question is: How do you handle it? How can you not let it stop you from moving forward?

Enjoy this video as Lori Clarke and I share our experience and strategies for dealing with loved ones when they do not (or cannot) support you in your business:

Now, sometimes what Lori and I discuss here is able to clear some layers of sadness, anger, or lack of support and communication – only to reveal more layers deeper down! The thing about really, truly stepping out on this journey towards freedom and passion, is that it very may well trigger those around you with unfinished business in these areas. And you better believe, whatever unconscious baggage or stories they have around following (or not following) their dreams is going to come back at you as you follow yours. Sometimes, this can be a long, confusing, and difficult process for both parties.

One of our Freedomites, Jess, came up against her husband’s “stuff” while she was in the midst of creating her products and launching her site. Up until now, her husband had been more-or-less supportive – he told her she was free to do whatever she felt called to do, but while he wanted to believe her that this “Internet thing” could actually start bringing in income soon, he couldn’t really see how it would. Though they had a loving, stable family and he had a great job, the piles of bills, kid care and bare basics ate up his salary effortlessly. With Jess on full-time Mom duty (and working on her site), his single stream of income was barely enough to get them through each month.

Jess’ husband started pushing her to get a job – any job. $11.10 per hour at Starbucks, anything to show she was contributing and take a little heat off the end of the month. But for the first time, he also became very negative about her LTYF work, which surprised and hurt her. They’d been through just about everything side by side, and here he was, basically informing her that he didn’t believe in her and her dream.

For Jess, it was both a terrifying and freeing process to hold her own and stand by her passions throughout this period. Terrifying because it felt like she was creating a rift in their tightly-knit relationship – and she was, by putting herself before the family, and holding strongly to her chosen path – and freeing because, for the first time, she was honouring her own needs and the higher work she felt called to, over everything else. She was prepared to shake things up, upset her husband, and effect her entire family to make room for herself to be more than Mom, and more than a hardworking and dutiful wife.

And when she drew this line distinctly, and her husband felt her conviction, he revealed a huge piece of the puzzle: throughout their long marriage, he had tried and failed (multiple times) to follow his dreams of owning his own company – with Jess’ full support and belief in him every single time. He felt devastated that he hadn’t achieved his goals and even more ashamed that he’d let her down. He felt, if she’d just pulled him back from the madness and reined in his ambition (like he was trying to do for her now), maybe they’d be in a better position now, maybe they wouldn’t have so much debt, and maybe his family could rest in ease instead of scrambling to make ends meet.

So, he’d taken their entire financial situation as proof that following your dreams never ends well, and now he was trying to stop Jess from following her dreams in a mostly-unconscious attempt to right the wrongs of the past! Talk about deep and dark. It was that realization that allowed the flow of communication to open up again, and the discussion about how this situation was different from that situation, and gradually the trust began to build up again between them. Jess actually did end up taking a job while she grew her reader-base and allowed sales to increase organically – but not just any job. She set her intention for a job that was aligned with her core self, and she found it, then tailored it specially to her, and asked for – and received – a wicked salary for work she enjoyed doing and involved her top talents, while her sales on her site steadily grew.

Why didn’t she just go get that job earlier and save herself a whole lotta drama? Timing can be funny. The Universe waits til we are ready – not til we think we’re ready – before it lets things move effortlessly. And her husband had to realize what was holding him back, shift it, and move forward, before she could. I know, not fair, right? That’s the thing about families; while we all need to move at our own pace, energetically it may not be possible to make leaps and bounds without leaving people behind. When leaving them behind isn’t an option, we often have to wait, put down our projects, focus our attention entirely on the relationship and ask, what here needs healing? What needs to move, so that we can all breathe again? And sometimes, it can feel like we’re waiting forever for a loved one to shift, because until they do, we can’t fully embrace our vision.

Signs of Transformation

Transformation may feel very frightening to the deeper self – hence the panic and fear cloaked in nastiness and accusation. Here are some key phrases that you are likely to hear when you are spearheading growth and shift:

• We can’t afford this, are you crazy?
• You are abandoning your children
• You are putting X before your family
• You are putting a financial strain on us that goes against our goals/agreement
• You should wait another year or so, the timing is bad

So how can you discern whether your partner has valid concerns and you really have lost the plot, or whether you are spearheading an energetic shift or transformation that is actually positive?

A good barometer is to ask friends, or a professional therapist for their opinion. Because when someone in a marriage or family follows the call of their deeper/higher self; even though to an outsider, the action taken looks perfectly reasonable and often positive (i.e. you can afford it, the kids are old enough to step up, it is a good long-term decision that will enrich your lives), the people IN the family feel the significance of the energetic shift and forward motion and go into fear. Because very few people embrace change and transformation willingly. And fear = anger = attack.

For this reason, you cannot rely on your family members for feedback! You need to go to people who have your best interest at heart, but are not participants in the transformation or shift you are bringing to your clan.

Another Freedomite actually left his long-term boyfriend during his own process. Now, this is not to alarm you and certainly not to suggest you should do the same if you’re facing difficulties, but again, when the energy of the people closest to you does not match yours, something has to give. In this man’s case, the more he cleared his own blocks and stepped into the empowered state he found by listening to his freedom, the less viable his relationship seemed, as his partner wouldn’t – or couldn’t – come along for the journey. And his partner’s resistance was hampering his own need to keep moving forward. When he saw this clearly, the anger and confusion dissipated and he knew it was simply time to move on, not just for him, but for his boyfriend as well. They parted tenderly at the crossroads, honoring both of their needs and paths.

I’m telling you these stories to alert you to the complexities  – and the individuality – of a process like stepping into your power and finding your freedom. If you hadn’t realized by now, LTYF is about far more than creating or upgrading your desired business. It’s about igniting your purpose and supporting it with a robust, adaptable, efficient system so you can finally give your best gifts to the world. While holding your course is important, you’ll invariably find yourself coming up against your own blocks and saboteurs – and those of the people closest to you.

If you can, be brave, plunge in, and clear the way! Or, if it’s too much, take a break from whatever’s causing the stress, even if it’s your business-in-progress, and see if you can get quiet enough to hear or see what wants to happen, or what need isn’t being met in your relationship. Get clear what’s your “stuff” and what’s their “stuff”.

If you need help, ask for it. Use the EFT videos like this one or browse the Clear Your Blocks & Get Inspired section in the menu above. Find a therapist, or a workshop, or a support system that resonates with you and/or your loved one. There are infinite ways through, so find what works for you. Get clear on your priorities, rewrite any stories that are no longer serving you, and trust, breathe, allow, love. Above all, take care of yourself.